“Are
you the owner?”
The
Pharmacist answers, “Yes”
“Do
you sell heart medication?”
“Of
course we do.”
“How
bout medicine for circulation?”
“All
kinds.”
“Medicine
for rheumatism?”
“Definitely.”
“How
about Viagra?”
“Of
course.”
“Medicine
for memory?”
“Yes,
a large variety.”
“What
about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
“Absolutely.”
The
prospective bridegroom replies, “Perfect!
We’d like to register here for our wedding
gifts.”
It
might be intended as a joke, but the fact
is that medical advances are keeping us
alive longer. One result is that many of
us are re-marrying in our later years.
Two
couples that re-married in their later years
are Lois and Jim, and Elsie and Colin. “We
eloped, but there was no ladder!” laughed
83-year-old Jim when he described how he
and 74-year-old Lois married in October
1997. They lived two doors from one another
in the same apartment block.
“Would
you like a whisker rub?” Jim laughingly
asked Lois one day in the elevator, after
she had commented on his magnificent beard.
A
firm “No thanks” was the chuckled response
from Lois.
“Well
then, how ‘bout dinner?” Jim persisted.
“Dutch,”
said Lois.
Jim’s
wife of 49 years had passed away and although
she was previously married, Lois had been
living as a single person for 17 years.
Their relationship quickly blossomed. Two
and one-half months after they met, a Marriage
Commissioner pronounced them man and wife.
Their children surprised them by renting
the honeymoon suite at a local hotel.
“You
should have seen us!" Lois said. "A
couple of wrinkly old farts sitting in the
Jacuzzi tub drinking champagne in our bathing
suits! We just laughed ourselves silly.”
And
they are still laughing despite the fact
that they are no longer married. Jim and
Lois spent four years together and then
decided that being married wasn’t what they
wanted. So, they agreed to divorce but continue
to have a strong friendship. They speak
to each other daily, are travelling companions,
go to movies and take part in other social
activities. They are, as Lois says, “best
buddies.”
Colin
and Elsie, met when they were both members
of the same choir and have been married
for two years. Elsie taught piano and singing
for 61 years. Music continues to be important
to both of them. Elsie said “Colin asked
me one day if there was a Mr. anyone in
my life and of course I said there wasn’t.
I had noticed him before he asked me. I
found him very interesting.” They started
to spend time together and found they had
many interests in common. Colin had been
married for 53 years to his childhood sweetheart.
When she died, he was devastated. “I read
a lot of books about death of a loved one
and they helped me to realize that I could
continue to live and enjoy life. They helped
me to see it was my wife who died and not
me.” Elsie too, had been married before,
but she had been single for a number of
years when she met Colin. They married in
a small private church ceremony and told
their respective families after the fact.
They said they “didn’t want a fuss.” They
have 11 children between them as well as
grandchildren and great grandchildren.
It
doesn’t really matter what age people are
when they fall in love. Usually, young people
meet, marry and spend a lifetime getting
to know one other, often becoming more alike
with each passing year. People under the
age of 40 years could be considered more
flexible as they search for ways to communicate
and live together in harmony. As we age,
we become more set in our ways, almost to
the point of predictability. Learning to
live with someone new once you are past
the age of 65 or 70 years of age could be
challenging. Despite this fact, it seems
that more people are re-marrying later in
life than ever before.
Studies
have shown that people who are married live
longer than people who are single. Walking
through life hand-in-hand with someone else
does seem to ease some of the burdens and
crises that go along with living no matter
what the age.
There
are also financial benefits in sharing living
expenses. Under current law, retired couples
are penalized for marrying Yet couples who
choose to live together are not affected
by this law. But either way, paying the
bills becomes less onerous when you can
share with a partner.
Loneliness
is an issue for many seniors who lose their
life partner(s). It could be difficult to
get out and mix with people again as a single
after decades of living with someone else.So,
if you are not quite ready for the dating
game, but would like to meet people, here
are some suggestions:
For
internet savvy seniors, checking out internet
sites could be a way to lessen the loneliness.
You can meet people all over the world without
leaving your home.
www.sassyseniors.com
This site has information on just about
anything and everything - you might be interested
in. From cars, to home, to health issues.
www.50plusfriends.com
This is a group of people from all over
the world who chat together and frequently
arrange for “cyber meets”, where members
meet in small groups, usually in friendly
and public places. This is a safe and clean
site where you can find friendly caring
people.
If
you are not comfortable on the internet,
then there are other ways to mix and meet
people.
1.
Volunteering
·
Meals on Wheels
· Hospital
· Running errands for folks who cannot
get out
· Canvassing for non profit groups
· Hospice House
There
are so many organizations that need help
these days due to cutbacks in funding.
2.
Special Interest Groups to join
·
Choirs
· Bird Watching (naturalist societies)
· Historical Societies
· Dance groups
· Clubs (camera, computer)
3.
Fitness
We
are told we should exercise 30 minutes each
day. There are many different types of exercise
specifically geared to seniors.
·
Swimming (aqua fit)
· Osteoporosis fitness classes
· Senior aerobics
· Walking · Joining fitness
studios
· Yoga
· Tai Chi
Although
Jim and Lois, Colin and Elsie have an the
ability to laugh at almost any situation
that occurs in their lives, both couples
seem to view life as though the glass is
half full and, as a result, they find the
joy that they look for on a daily basis.
Marrying
when you are a senior may take some extra
compromise, but it can give you great happiness
and can even add to your longevity. Both
couples tell me that the secret to finding
joy is being able to communicate openly
with one another.
Some
things never change.
Carole
Fawcett is a Stress Management Consultant,
Laughter Therapist, Therapeutic Clown Teacher
and Freelance writer. She lives in the beautiful
Okanagan Valley in British Columbia, Canada,
with her dog Huey. Carole is frequently
heard to say "If you are not having
fun, you are doing something wrong".
You can find out more about Carole at http://www.afunnybusiness.ca
Article
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