Lena
is one of many fiery over 50 dames with
lots of life. The idea of dating put a sparkle
into her eyes. After a few unproductive
“let’s meet for coffee” dates, she struck
gold! Ryan, whom she met in her doctor’s
waiting room, was everything she hoped for.
A widower without children, Ryan was like
a breath of fresh air. He put romance and
zest into her life. They fell madly in love
and lived happily ever after.
This
is a dating dream come true for most older,
single women. Today, dating over 50 is just
as common as dating at a younger age. However,
there are profound differences in life circumstances
and experiences. Unfortunately, not all
dating adventures of older singles have
happy endings. Dating at a mature age comes
with baggage. Ex wives, stepchildren, step-grandchildren,
in-laws, lifestyles or commitments, just
to name a few. This baggage prevents many
singles from creating close relationships.
Yet, there are good news for all mature
singles, who have not found their “one and
only”:
As
a mature person you have qualities such
compassion, integrity, and wisdom, all of
which nurture rewarding relationships. Use
exactly those qualities to find love and
avoid falling victim to clever-minded dating
strategies. Successful relationships are
based on three principles: mutual respect,
moral responsibility and authenticity. These
are also common-sense dating principles.
1.Mutual
Respect: Others are just as valuable as
you
Our
generation has made history as ambassadors
of a “what’s-in-it-for-me” society. Much
of the dating advice today supports this
attitude. Just make your wish list and check
it against your date. While dating can be
fun, for most 50 plus singles it is about
finding a life-mate. When you date, treat
him with respect. Be on time and be interested.
If there is mutual attraction, share your
likes and dislikes openly. Don’t get lost
in keeping score. Respect that a first date
is a fishing trip to determine if there
is enough interest for a second date. By
all means give each other a chance. If you
are not interested, don’t lead him on. You
are mature and don’t need a black book filled
admirers. If you like him, but the feeling
is not mutual, make it easy to call the
quits. Treat your date the way you would
want to be treated.
2.Moral
Responsibility: You are always morally responsible
to those with whom you have a relationship
This
begs the question as to when a relationship
begins. You have graduated from the coffee
shop to seeing a movie. He wined and dinned
you and now invites you to a barbeque with
friends. While this is not a marriage proposal,
it is nevertheless personal. No red flags
have popped up yet and you accept the invitation.
This has the potential for a relationship.
Now is the time to get to know him instead
of looking over the shoulder for other suitors.
Here is why: often relationships between
dating singles never develop because they
are occupied with multiple dates. Sleeping
with multiple dates is morally irresponsible
to each one. Be as responsible as you would
be to your best friend, because he may be
that some day.
3.
Authenticity: Love only happens when you
are real
Have
you ever found yourself laughing simply
because everyone else did? Told someone
had a fabulous time when you didn’t or said:
“I love you” when you didn’t mean it? Did
you ever do something inconsistent with
your true self just to please someone or
get what you wanted? Of course we all have.
We have lost the bravery to be real! For
many there is quite a gap between the person
inside and the person we present to the
world. In the competitive world of dating
misrepresentation is at an all time high.
If
you seek love, forget about how to make
him fall in love with you. Forget about
Mars and Venus, in the real world we are
all human beings first, men and women second.
Most singles over 50 want to love and belong.
Wear what makes you feel like a million
dollar babe, not what you think impresses
him. While you are not to disclose your
sexual history on a first date, be straightforward
on topics that you are comfortable with.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Be authentic and be honest! Don’t waste
your precious time pretending to be what
you are not. You may not land many second
dates, but at this stage it is about quality,
not quantity. Love only happens when you
are real.
These
three universal principles are no-fail dating
concepts that keep you sane and on the road
to love. To boost your dating success, Ivana
Trump is adding a bonus for all the fabulous
and mature women. In her new TV show she
introduces older women to younger men. Sounds
like the Demi Moore style of dating is gaining
popularity. With quite a few older men dating
much younger women, Ivana is orchestrating
a balancing act. Love has no boundaries,
is ageless and keeps you young. Maybe Ivana’s
reality show will get you in the groove.
©
2005 Allie Ochs
About
the Author: Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert,
Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You
Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles
are published in numerous magazines and
newsletters. She has appeared on radio and
TV. To order her book or to take the Fit
2 Love! Test visit her website at http://www.fit2love.com.
For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail:
askallie
Source: www.isnare.com
GoldDates.com2006